I haven’t blogged in forever. But, here I am. Fingers to keys. Words on the page. It never grows old. Familiar yet strange. When I thought about my blog a few minutes ago, I wondered why it had been so long since I’d written you. The easy answer is I’ve been busy. And, I have. Busy and somewhat productive too. That’s no excuse. The real reason is I haven’t made it a priority. Isn’t that what happens in life? With anything? With anyone? When we don’t make it, or them, a priority they slip to the bottom of the stack. Dusty, looked over, forgotten. In the interim we pile new priorities higher and find other interests while the old ones wait patiently wondering whether they will ever be recategorized and resurface again. I can easily slate certain television shows according to what took shape in my life at the time. There are entire seasons of great shows I have missed because I was parenting. Thank God for boxed sets! Some would argue that parenting a child who is 4 years old takes significantly more time than parenting a child who is 10. I would agree. At 10 years old I was able to watch television separate and apart from my child, reclaiming adult laughs through Will and Grace while she watched Cheetah girls. When my daughter was 4 years old, television simply was not a priority unless it involved song, dance, alphabets and education. Such is life… unless you’re a fan of the Maury Povich show. Then, chances are your child is subjected to your viewing habits because you are either too asinine or too self-absorbed to care whether the show will damage them irreparably. Nothing personal. It’s just a different set of priorities.
So… I’m back for now. This moment. The wee a.m. Thinking about absolutes. Never. Forever. Which seem so final. I can usually tell the level of maturity one possesses by their use or misuse of generalities or absolutes. Everyone does that. Really? I would never do that. Really? LOL! Live long enough and you will understand a little more about life, a little more about love, and a thing or two about never-ever-forever. You’ll understand that nothing is guaranteed, everything is a gamble, and the only thing constant is change. The last time I thought about blogging I thought about you, the reader. I thought about me, the writer. I thought about this process: solitary yet communal. It is the life of the introverted extrovert that you witness here. I enjoy the thought of your eyes scanning the words I string together so carefully yet carefree. I enjoy the thought that you know very little about me yet you gain insight with each commentary and opinion I share. I am thrilled by the knowledge that one day I will close my eyes, breathe my last breath and have nothing else to say, but my words will live on. Forever? No. For as long as you will read or relay. My writing is as much for you as it is for me. Although my motives remain altruistic, the pleasure I derive is egocentric at best. I love meeting you here. However, it is sometimes not the first or second priority in my life, and amongst other things it must wait its turn.
I have a friend who is an accountant. I would imagine that tax season is his busiest season of all. Hopefully, his wife is a patient woman January 1st through April 15th. I have a friend who is an educator. She lives for the summers when she is free. Nine months out of the year she gives birth to learned pupils. During periods of particularly arduous labor her family and friends take a back seat and wait their turn. It’s about priorities which sometimes shift and often change. My life as a writer is exciting like the ebb and flow of the tide – one of my favorite analogies. Whoever thought to put those two words together like beans and rice, salt and pepper, ebb and flow… Outstanding! Now, do you see why I write? (Actually, I spent many hours with the dictionary and encyclopedias as a child. Perhaps my mother was watching high-browed television comedy or raising four other children! Who knows? I am eternally grateful she was not a fan of any show like the ‘Maury’ of that time.) I love words. I love thoughts conveyed through words. I love communication, the art of storytelling, dialogue, poetry, prose. An executive once told me that earning a living as a writer is tough. She said, “I always tell writers to abandon it unless they absolutely have something to say.” Makes you think, right? I was silent for about ten seconds before I thanked her for sharing that piece of advice with me. My sincere hope is that you will forgive me when the tide is low and ride with me when the tide is high. On the crest of the wave with my face to the sun, I definitely have something to say.